8 rules for dating my teenage

Here's a checklist that you can use to confirm your worst fears.Warning Signs That You May Be Living with a Teenager- Your phone is always busy, so you put in a second line and it's always busy.- Your gas tank is always empty and your laundry basket is always full.- While you've generally been in favor of them up until now, suddenly "Miracle Bras" seem like a really bad idea.- You realize it's been more than a year since you haven't had to pay a late fee when you rent a video.- Your car insurance suddenly costs more than your car.If you've had a baby, or are engaged in breeding, I will tell you what you have to look forward to.If it's been about a dozen birthdays since you brought home that darling little bundle of girl baby, I am willing to explain the skills and tactics you will need to make it through the next eight years with a minimum of trauma.(My wife ignores my instructions and actually spends money trying to satisfy these adolescent appetites, which is a bit like trying to warm a winter day by turning up the heat and opening your windows.)Anyway, the world is positively teeming with teenagers, and as long as people continue to think about starting a family, the trend is likely to continue. I am only willing to accept the blame for the ones that my wife caused and have taken educational measures with her to make sure it doesn't happen again.But if I am, indeed, surviving the experience, perhaps I can share with you some of the knowledge I have so painfully gained over what has been more than half a decade of tears, hormones, and stress fractures.

Just because your blood pressure is so high you swear other people can hear it doesn't mean you're suffering from teenager-your daughter might be a "preteen," which is sort of like having a tornado before a hurricane hits.

Fathers may suspect it's not easy for their daughters to become women, but those same daughters have no idea how hard it is for fathers to stand by and watch. Bruce Cameron, "Having a child mutate into a teenager is a bit like being an airline passenger who must suddenly take over for a stricken pilot and land the plane.

And in this case, the passengers are all yelling, 'I hate you! ' and slamming the door to the cockpit." Cameron has two daughters, so he is doubly aware that raising teenage girls is well, impossible.

Your parents did, which is why they always start laughing when you call to explain to them how impossible it is to live with teenage daughters.

(If, as they are choking through their hilarity at your expense, they claim that your child's behavior sounds "just like you at that age," hang up immediately.

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